Should you be resolution-curious, below are expert tips for better chances. And let’s remember, if at first we don’t succeed, there’s always the Chinese or Jewish New Year.
Tap into the Power of People
Don’t go it alone, is the key advice of Jay Van Bavel, a professor of psychology at NYU and author of Power of Us. “Anxiety and depression are on the rise, and we’re experiencing a loneliness epidemic,” he says. “America has always been the most individualistic society on earth and the pandemic and technology have put this truth on steroids.” A lack of community, or even a social calendar that is chockablock with commitments but devoid of longer periods of hang time, is directly connected to our modern ailments.
“A lot of people set resolutions that are like lose 10 pounds or get a gym membership, and most of them are done with their promises in a few weeks,” he says. Social connection, he promises, is the path to a better chance of success. He recommends joining a running group, finding a dependable gym buddy, or, if you’re a writer like him, signing up for a writers’ group. His group of five meets for lunch once a month and makes a point to share their goals for the next few weeks. “I’ll say I plan to outline the intro of this paper, or I’ll apply for that grant,” he says. “You have something to work toward because you know you’re being held to account. And you’re killing two birds with one stone since social connection is intrinsically rewarding.”
Dig Deeper
A resolution is bound to fall through the cracks unless you work out a compelling case for making it in the first place. No matter what type of fresh start you’re looking for, it is imperative that you “have a why,” according to Liz Moody, personal growth expert and host of the Liz Moody podcast. “I like to think about how I could be a different person in 2024 than I was in 2023, and I’ll identify the broader impact that my so-solution might have.” For example, a vow to eat more vegetables could result in more energy and cleaner skin. Or an exercise-based resolution could help lessen anxiety and sleep issues. “A lot of people say I want to lose weight, but they don’t have a reason except that society tells them to lose weight. It’s hard to stick with something if it’s based on societal messaging but not tapping into deeper motivations,” she says. So ask yourself: Why am I doing this? And if you can’t find the answer, maybe let it go. Doing things for purely aesthetic reasons tends not to work. “People love us regardless of our abs,” she says. “But if you can figure out how a resolution will make you feel? Now that is a powerful motivator.
Love Your Guts
Starvation diets, or even fad diets such as the fat-heavy keto diet, are not your friend, as they tend to whittle away your muscle mass and cause inflammation, according to Steven Gundry M.D., medical director of the International Heart and Lung Institute in Palm Springs. The wellness guru believes that the secret to dieting is feeding your gut microbiome, which is the trillions of bacteria, viruses and fungi that inhabit your intestinal tract and bear huge impact on your weight and health. He was following a low-fat diet, running 30 miles a week and going to the gym one hour a day, but it wasn’t until he started living—and eating—in service to his microbiome that he lost 50 pounds in a year. Processed foods damage our microbiomes, but a host of nutrient- and fiber-rich foods will help us get in fighting form. “There was an assumption that the microbiome likes to eat prebiotic fibers like mushrooms, artichokes, asparagus and sweet potatoes, all of which have soluble fiber. But there’s a punchline,” he says. “You can eat all the soluble fiber in the world but if you don’t also eat fermented foods like yogurt or kefir or kombucha or vinegar, you’re not feeding your microbiome the right combination and you won’t sent the right messages to your brain that say you don’t need to keep looking for more food.”
Tune In to Your Intuition
We’re bound to drop the ball when we commit to things that run against our true desires, says Ellen Vora MD, a psychiatrist and author of The Anatomy of Anxiety. If we hone our ability to listen to our intuition and hear what our bodies need most, she says, we might not even need to make hardcore resolutions anymore. “Our society has us bouncing between self-flagellation and self-care in a way that drives us crazy, but there is a middle ground. Our bodies know what they need at any given moment,” she says. “Deep down, I know if I crave spending time in nature or hanging out with my daughter or eating something nourishing.” For those of us who aren’t skilled at tying into the messages from within, she suggests incorporating the idea of listening to ourselves in our resolutions. “Instead of: I’m going to exercise everyday, what if we said I’m going to move when I need to move and I’m going to rest when I need to rest? Our bodies really know best.”
Try Values, Not Goals
Our resolutions might have a better chance of sticking if we set them to reflect our moral values, says Marwa Azab Ph.D., a psychology professor at Cal State University Long Beach. “It’s been a year of moral injury, and finding something meaningful is the best thing that you can do to feel better,” she says. A distinction she likes to make is the difference between being purposeful and being meaningful, defining the latter as anything relating to our inner values. “Instead of focusing on goals, pick top three values, and no matter how low the world gets you, commit to never compromising.” Values are easier to keep than goals, she says. “A diet is a goal, and if you don’t keep it then you say: I ruined it, forget it. But when you commit to being, say, genuine or exercising gratitude, then you’re more likely to go the course. The benefits outshine those of any ab workout routine. “Life is a seres of big tests and small tests, and if you don’t veer from your original value, you’ll be more comfortable in your skin.”
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