Here It Is – The Sixth Annual Political Insider Turkey Awards (PITAs)

After a short hiatus, the whispers and rumors you could have been listening to are true.

Maintain on to your giblets of us, it’s time as soon as once more to have a good time the true which means of Thanksgiving in America.

It’s not the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, or apple pie. Nay, it’s the second you’ve all been ready for – our sixth annual (The) Political Insider Turkey Awards, or PITAs for brief.

The PITAs took slightly day without work however we’re extraordinarily pleased to announce that we’re again child. We did it, Joe!

Programming word for the winners: As a result of provide chain points, excessive delivery prices as a consequence of gasoline costs, and COVID restrictions, this yr’s award will likely be an digital $5 off coupon code to Aldi which you might be welcome to make use of to purchase an precise turkey.

Sorry, however our price range is slightly tight within the age of Bidenflation.

That shouldn’t take away from the prestigiousness of this award ceremony. Different prestigious award reveals try to achieve our prestigious degree of status.

So with out additional adieu, listed here are the winners of the 2021 PITA awards …

Common Mark Milley

What makes this yr’s awards distinctive is that each single winner is taking dwelling their first-ever prize. No repeat winners right here.

And in that spirit of range, we’re proud to announce the primary PITA award winner is the nation’s prime ‘woke’ navy chief – Common Mark Milley.

Milley, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Employees, was so involved about “white rage” in Trump supporters on the Capitol riot, that he seemingly took his eye off the ball in Afghanistan over the summer time. 

The Afghanistan withdrawal led to a suicide bombing killing 13 service members, a retaliatory drone strike by the US that killed 10 civilians – together with an support employee and seven kids – and numerous People being left behind within the Taliban-controlled nation.

The woke Common Milley, clearly pushed by his personal white rage, privately blamed the State Division for being accountable.

This previous September, it was additionally revealed that Milley grew so involved about President Donald Trump’s psychological state that he secretly referred to as China to inform them he’d give them a heads up if America was planning to assault.

“If we’re going to assault, I’m going to name you forward of time,” Milley purportedly instructed Common Li Zuocheng of the Folks’s Liberation Military of China.

Fox Information host Tucker Carlson accused Milley of being “not only a pig, he’s silly.”

At the moment, he’s a turkey. Or not less than a Turkey Award winner.

Merrick Garland

Legal professional Common Merrick Garland joins Milley as a first-time recipient of the celebrated PITA.

Garland earns his stripes primarily based on a robust late-season surge which sees him face requires resignation and being hauled earlier than Congress for weaponizing the FBI – even utilizing “counterterrorism instruments” and “tag threats” to trace dad and mom essential of their native college boards – and mendacity about it.

The Division of Justice (DOJ) was additionally caught coordinating with the Nationwide College Boards Affiliation (NSBA) to create a controversial letter evaluating involved dad and mom to home terrorists.

Garland has weaponized the DOJ of their efforts to indict and arrest former Trump aide Steve Bannon, actively labored to permit unlawful immigrants to be launched into the nation no matter COVID testing standing, and launched a number of investigations into police departments to analyze for “systemic points.”

That’s fairly the resumé.

We expect Senator Tom Cotton stated it finest when he instructed Garland, “Thank God, you’re not on the Supreme Courtroom.”

We requested Cotton if he’d current Garland with the award however have but to listen to again.

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris

President Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris have achieved their finest to create distance between one another within the wake of poisonous polling numbers, however they’re grouped collectively right here as co-winners of their first PITA.

There are such a lot of disasters that these two are chargeable for that it’s troublesome to know the place to start.

The 2 have been behind the wheel of a rustic being pushed off a cliff – whether or not it’s the economic system, the border disaster, the Afghanistan debacle, inflation, provide chain issues, gasoline costs, and on and on.

Biden burnished the truth that he’s extra involved about unlawful immigrants than he’s of People following his current protection of potential funds to these separated whereas illegally crossing the border.

Harris, in the meantime, has been wandering round aimlessly like a turkey with its head lower off, touring to the mistaken border, making films with baby actors, and being briefly possessed by a faux French accent.

The 2 have been noticed an immense quantity of goodwill by the media and the American individuals at the start of their time period, however have seen steadily declining approval rankings as a consequence of their incompetence.

A September ballot confirmed a transparent majority of voters consider Biden ought to have resigned over his disastrous dealing with of the Afghanistan withdrawal. That very same ballot noticed voters specific their perception that Harris isn’t certified to be President.

One other ballot in October noticed a transparent majority of voters saying the administration is just not competent.

The 2 additionally tried to lend help to Terry McAuliffe’s gubernatorial marketing campaign earlier this month, which the voters of Virginia strongly rejected.

Shortly after that, Biden’s approval ranking plunged to 38% whereas Harris dropped even additional to twenty-eight%.

Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger

In one more co-winner PITA, the inseparable pairing of Representatives Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger earn their first recognition.

The ambiguously stray duo have spent a lot of the yr leaving their conservative values and their constituents behind, as an alternative serving as helpful idiots for the Democrat Occasion.

Cheney and Kinzinger purport to be Republicans however have been overwhelmingly pushed not by their efforts to move or promote GOP insurance policies and platforms, however fairly, to persuade liberals and the media that they actually, actually hate former President Trump.

To the purpose of tears within the case of Kinzinger.

After they’re not perpetually crying about Donald Trump, Cheney is telling individuals the riot on the Capitol was “a home menace that now we have by no means confronted earlier than,” and Kinzinger is suggesting he was so scared on January sixth that he thought of taking pictures Trump supporters.

Hopefully, this PITA award will flip their little frowns the other way up, turning their tears for fears of rebel into tears of pleasure.


We hope you loved The Sixth Annual Political Insider’s Turkey Awards.

Keep in mind, regardless that all winners should reside with disgrace and embarrassment, they nonetheless get to go dwelling with a $5 off coupon code to Aldi. One thing to inform the grandkids about someday.

Congratulations to all our winners! Right here’s hoping they proceed to work exhausting letting People understand how fully incompetent they’re – simply by being themselves!


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